Insanity: Sick & Tired Of Being Sick & Tired...

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein.

From the time that I was a kid I was told by my elders (father, mother, brothers, sisters, etc.) to always show respect for police officers and for that matter any figure of authority. I was told to always be mindful that as a you Black boy, I was and am a target for hatred and fear for those that might want any excuse to do me harm. I was told to walk with less swagger in my gait, talk with less bass in my voice, be less expressive with my body gesturing or arms flailing and a host of other coping mechanisms. But what happens when all of those things fail to work? What happens when the very things that you were taught as survival techniques start to make you more of a target. This brings me back to the A. Einstein quote at the top of the page.

As the video starts (See Above) I see two smaller officers confronting a bigger man that seems a bit animated but is non-threatening to either officer in frame. To be fair, there seems to be an edit but then as the video continues I see one of the officers make contact with Mr. Garner from behind and then that same officer applies a choke hold to Mr. Garner. As more officers join in you can see that Mr. Garner has both hands up (in an act of compliance or at the very least, non-aggression)  he then immediately tells the officers that he can't breathe. As the fray continues, Mr. Garner hits the ground with with both hands loose before his right hand is placed behind his back by one officer and his right hand is free, with his palm open (another act of compliance or at least non aggression). At this point you can hear a muffled Mr. Garner telling the officers repeatedly that he can't breathe...

Let's forget about the race of all of these men for the sake of argument. Let's forget about the fact that there are 4 officers to 1 civilian. Let's even forget about the FACT that the officers initially confront Mr. Garner for suspicion of an offense that requires a fine and not arrest, despite that fact that it was later discovered that this man didn't even have in his possession what he was accused to have. Let's even forget that the choke hold used to subdue Mr. Garner has been banned for use by police officers for years. No matter how many elements we attempt to eliminate it still comes down to this one truth, a man died for nothing more than refusing to be bullied by a cop. We actually see this man's last moments on this earth play out for the entire world to take note.

Mr. Garner was a hulking man. Does anyone actually believe that he couldn't toss these little gnats off of him if he wanted to? He instead took the passive approach, that same approach that most if not all Black men are taught from an early age. I can clearly see and hear that he wants to be left alone. I can clearly see that he is afraid that if he uses any sign of force that he might pay for it with his life. I also see that he trusted in a system that is there supposedly to protect and serve but instead was swarmed upon by a pack of rabid hyenas there to take down their prey, dressed as police officers. All of this over a cigarette (loosey), the same item that can be purchased at any bodegas on that very block. Mr. Garner is dead.

Let me ask each of you one question? If you knew that you were about to die and you had a chance to defend yourself wouldn't you do so? Most people would come out kicking and screaming yet in this case Mr. Garner didn't appear to use any of his physicality to fight the officers off. We didn't see him throw one punch. We didn't even see him ball up his fist in an attempt to stop the officers from choking him. What we saw was a man passively resisting at first and then pleading for his God given right, A CHANCE TO BREATHE! What more do we have to see?

Wake Up America! How long are we supposed to trust that we are all safe? I'm serious! How long are we supposed to remain passive as we are rounded up for any petty reason that officers choose to detain us to have it end in murder? Why should I continue to trust that I won't be next in the fray? When did public servants take on the role of public masters & executioners???

There are some that will read this as an attempt to drum up trouble or a call to arms against the police,  to those folks I'll say simply this; Try that old "distraction tactic" on someone else, re-read what I have written without trying to read into it. I am saying that reform is needed in the worst way. I'm saying that our coping mechanisms have reached a tipping point as they no longer work to save us at all. I'm not so sure that they ever did work, after all I've learned that until you stand up to most bullies, you will indeed forfeit your lunch money to them on a daily basis. The day for being passive is over, it time to stand up and hold these few bad apples accountable for their crimes. The police are supposed to protect and serve not play judge and jury, not to bully folks just because they seem out of place and certainly not to assume criminality based on race or stereotypes. If the rough and tumble times are character defining moments, then America it's time to see what type of character we really have. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

  

 

 

Let's Listen, Internalize, Share & Discuss... Personal Interactions...

A friend posted a Vlog on his FaceBook page the other day about the Ferguson situation. While I didn't agree with most of what he said, I appreciated that he had an opinion and was urging his friends to express theirs. I have maintained that I would never do such, as a lot of times these things get way off topic and seem more like a forum for racist ideas, sexist rants and hate-speech, none of which do I want any part of.

After thinking for a while I decided that I can do my part in the conversation by asking folks of all races, colors and creeds to tell their own stories. What better way to help someone to understand your particular stance on related subjects is there than allowing someone to take a walk in your shoes by your own account ?

What I am asking is the following: Share whatever experience(s) you have had with the police be they good, bad or both. It's your story so be as raw or guarded as you wish and let's get the conversation(s) started. The intention is to garner understanding for and from both sides of the aisle. This is simply an attempt to help us understand each other and what we have gone through in hopes that change(s) can be made effectively. If not by us then whom? If not by now then when? My three stories will follow this sentence, yours will be captured by adding them to the comment box. All I ask is that we be respectful of each other as human beings, everyone has that right!

1) Random summer day early 80's - My first real interaction with the police was around 1982 (I was in my early teens). I had just gotten home from the REC (playing basketball) and was in the garage feeding my dog Rex, when my sister Joanie told me that a police car was in the driveway. I came inside to hear them asking my mother if she had a small light skinned son that was driving a red car earlier that day. My mother told them that she had a son that was home but, he is of a dark complexion and that he was too young to drive. As I walked in I remember one of the officers looking at me and saying "That's him right there." and grabbing my arm. I snatched it back and asked him what I was accused of when he told me hit and run. My father then told the officer not to touch me again until he spoke to me to find out if I knew anything about what they were talking about. The police didn't care at all, as far as they were concerned I could tell it to them at the station. As a Black kid in Southern Maryland a trip to the station was never to be trusted. By the time they would have finished with me (in the 80's) I would have been a suspect for every crime in a 4 state radius, at least this was my parent's thinking back in that day. So my parents held on to me for as long as they could. Despite the fact that I repeatedly told the police that I wasn't their man, despite the fact that I had an alibi, am darker than light skin and despite the fact that I didn't even know how to drive, I was handcuffed and walked down my driveway about to be put in the back of the police car when another officer pulled up and told the other officers that he knew me and my family from church and that there was no way I fit the description other than being Black. Thanks to excellent timing and a previous relationship with this officer that happened to be positive I was spared. I found out later that day that the REAL criminal had turned himself in and if you looked at the two of us side by side we would have looked as different from each other as Kid & Play did. It's worth noting that each of these PG County officers were White.

2) New Year's Eve late 80's - I was party hopping with a friend for the entire night when we decided to go to just one more spot before calling it a night. While we both had more than a few drinks, I decided that I would drive his car for him because I held my liquor better and was calmer under fire. As luck would have it, a state trooper pulled up beside us and looked into the car. As we looked back he slowly tapered off and pulled directly behind us staying there for about five miles before turning on his lights and pulling us over. As he approached the vehicle, I went into "save that ass mode", it's a mode that everyone in a precarious situation should know how to access and when to do so. Anyway, I told my boy to mess his hair up, prop his chair back and look as drunk as he possibly could without saying too much.

"Can I have your license and registration please sir?"  The officer asked, rather politely.

"Sure, what exactly did I do wrong sir?" I asked in the least defensive (most passive really) voice I could muster up.

"You seemed to be swerving when I got behind you. Have you been drinking?" He asked

"Have you ever had the pressure of driving behind an officer for five miles sir?" I asked as I handed my documents to him. "I had a couple of beers earlier and will gladly do a field sobriety test if you need me to, but as you can see my friend here had a bit too many so I need to get him home before he throws up in the car." I continued.

"Ft. Washington, you guys are quite a bit away from home, but Fort Washington is nice area. " The office said as he called in my license info.

My boy then said something that amounted to gibberish but seemed to validate my point to the officer and then it happened.

"Young man, you can learn a lot from your friend over here, don't drink more than you can handle and be respectful of yourself and those around you." The officer said to my boy Steve as he handed my back my stuff and told us to be on our way home.

We both laughed as he walked off but thanked God that we were spared for the night. It's also worth noting that Steve is Black and the officer was White.

3) Random summer day, late 90's - I lived in NW, Washington DC and was in my walkway going into my place when I heard a horn blow. I looked and saw that it was my girl Monique so I walked to the the  driver's side door as she pulled over to the side of the street so that we could talk. As I stuck my head in the window to kiss her on her cheek and be on my way an officer came zooming in, turned on her lights and started to yell at me.

"What in the fuck did you just put in her car, what did you just sell her?" The female officer said as she got out of her car and approached us with her hand on her gun.

"What?" "Are you talking to me ma'am?" I asked in shock.

"I saw you selling her drugs and throwing it in her car!" She snarled. "Ma'am, get out of your car!"

"Monique stay in your car, she's tripping and talking to the wrong dude!" I said back to her. "Do you know who I am lady? Do you know where I live? Have you ever introduced yourself to the folks on your beat? Get the fuck out of my face I ain't giving you shit! Now what?" I continued.

"Who in the hell are you talking to nigga? I'll take your stupid ass in right now!" She came back.

"Do you know officer Johns, the liaison for this district? Ask him who I am and you'll probably be reprimanded for violating my rights?" I shot back as her back up came down the street.

The officer that pulled up looked at me and said, "Mr. Crawford, is there a problem?"

"I'm good but you might need to tell your fellow officers that intimidation doesn't build the bridges to good community and police relations in the neighborhood.And while you're at it you might want to tell her that it's not professional to start off interaction with an adult by cursing at them." I finished as Officer Johns shook my hand and called off his rabid dog (that over zealous officer that had seemingly stereotyped me for having dreadlocks being Black and having the nerve to converse to a young lady while to Po-Po was around). It is worth noting that Officer Johns was White and the female officer was Black.

These are just three of my stories and I have have many, many more from Oakland, Baltimore, New Orleans and all over.

In story 1) imagine being 13 or 14, coming into the house a facing the possibility of being ripped from all that you know by being accused of something that you have no knowledge of. All I can say is that it can't help but to shape future interactions and plant seeds of distrust.

Imagine story 2) Was it my savvy that saved me or was it the fact that I was pulled over by a kind-hearted cop? Maybe it was the fact that I was from a "good neighborhood" that he was familiar with? I have no way of knowing...

Story 3) might be the most perplexing of all to me, while some would ask the question, "why would you curse at an officer?" I'd say to that once you approach a person and set a tone, that tone is set! Had she not cursed at me, a stranger to her, and disrespected me then I would not have felt the need to be so confrontational with her. Had she not put her hand on her weapon, I wouldn't have felt so trapped and in need of defending myself. Had she not predetermined that I was a criminal due to the hair on my head and the color of my skin then maybe she wouldn't have imagined that I threw drugs in my friend's car. Had officer John's not come up in a nick of time who knows what would have happened. What I do know is that when people feel trapped we go in to survival mode.

You will notice that I added the races of all officers involved with each of my stories. I did this to show that I have had varying results with all races of cops so I'm not saying that race is necessarily an issue in my cases. In fact, I'd argue that the initial interaction was the most critical element of each situation that I laid out. In 2 of the 3, the first contact or interaction that I had was positive and respectful so there was a deescalation from the very start. In the other situation there was conflict from the very start, I was cursed at and called out of my name but even in this one, the fact that I had a familiarity with one of the officers was in its self a tool for deescalation.   

I have maintained for quite some time that as a citizen (civilian) I expect to walk out into the streets and be safe. As an adult I understand the risk(s) taken by living daily. There are criminals out there that mean you and your property harm, accidents can happen and there's always nature to be wary of, that's what we signed up for. Police officers take the risk of placing themselves in harm's way everyday, that's what their job entails and I respect that greatly, but also gives them the right to use deadly force as they deem necessary. This burden carries along with it a great deal of  pressure, they have to determine how to best deescalate a situation. They have to determine, who's a threat and who's helpful. They have to get out into the community and meet folks so that these people aren't easy targets and as a result easy to dismiss as criminal and not worth a trial in the first place. By no means am I saying that the police are bad. I am however, saying that as long as situations like the ones hitting the headlines of late go unchecked or unchallenged the more likely we are to putting a segment of society in the hands of those that seem quick to judge and execute before dehumanizing and demonizing in order to justify their rash reactions and more importantly FEAR.

I can't help but be disturbed by the account of a grown man that is supposedly trained to protect and serve, a man standing 6'4 weighing 210 lbs giving an account of a child 6'4 292 lbs and saying that this man seemed like the Incredible Hulk to him as if that young man had super powers. I see it as a way to make the deceased (victim or perp depending on your side) sub human and attempt to explain, through FEAR why that ultimate decision was made in the first place. I wasn't there and have no idea what happened but I know that I don't want the situation to be repeated regardless of the color of the accused or the officer. That's my two cents, I hope that you will be kind enough to share yours with me. The only way that we will ever mend the fence is if we all talk about it for change...