The Misconception of Crabs In A Barrel....

The Killer Lie.....

Today on Facebook I saw this illustration along with the title The Truth. After looking at the comments that were left I was surprised by the amount of Black men and women that agreed with the caption and illustration. Being a Black man who held a different opinion I needed to analyze a few things in order to weigh in. 

While some might wonder why the rest of the world was tripping, I set out to understand why I saw things differently than everyone else on the thread and then it hit me. I felt differently because I have gone about things in a more self responsible way throughout my life. With that in mind I offer the following examples of why the thought that Blacks don't help each other is not only a misconception but a down right lie..... Let the truth be told...

In the 90's I worked as a Social Worker in Washington, DC, which at the time I thought, was my life mission. By that I mean I really loved this job and saw myself doing it forever, after all it was a noble calling. One day I had a surprise dinner party for my good friend Jason at our house. I have always been able to cook so this was the perfect time for me to showcase one of my hidden talents. To say the menu was challenging is a gross understatement, I was shucking oysters, making mignonette sauce, searing rockfish, wilting greens and making caramelized bananas with home made tequila-lime ice cream and pouring specialty drinks. To make matters more complicated I was doing all of these things by myself for twenty-five people. Talk about exhaustive.....The party went seamlessly and everything was a success. The next day my best friend Shelby Jones called me to tell me that the menu, printed for my party, was given to the Executive Chef of the Motion Picture Association. Shelby went on to tell me that the chef was not only impressed with the menu but amazed that a social worker was able to pull this off by himself and he wanted to meet me. The following day I came in to meet the chef, we talked and I was hired on the spot. Talk about life altering moments.......

In 2008 while traveling to Dallas to visit friends for the holidays I met someone that would alter my life. At the time I was a kitchen manager at Google in Mountain View California. Yep it was THAT Google and life there was great. State of the Art equipment, the best product money could buy, knowledgeable mentors and an educated customer base. This place is heaven to work in for a chef so I was a lifer as far as I was concerned. On that trip to Dallas while staying with one of my boys, I met Charles Sherrard. Charles was working in I.T. for KBR in Iraq at the time. We talked about life, had a few drinks and played cards for the rest of the night. The next morning I made breakfast for everyone  and Charles looked at me and said, "Damn man you need to bring these talents to Iraq and cook for the troops!" I was flabbergasted. Little did he or anyone else know but on Sept. 12 2001 I called Red Cross to offer my services to cook for the first responders at both the Pentagon and The Twin Towers and was rebuffed. "There's no need at this point sir!" Is what I got each time I called to ask so I let it go. I turned to him and said,"Where do I sign up?" I was on my way to Iraq less than 3 months later. While in Iraq I worked my ass off. I was never in the military or any military setting so this was culture shock. Shit, The acronyms alone sent me into a tailspin let alone the culture, but within four months I was promoted to Supervisor and three months later again promoted to Area Supervisor. I came in hungrier than anyone else there. I knew I was behind everyone else that was former military but I outpaced everyone there and as a result was rewarded time and time again. 

In 2013 while teaching culinary arts in a DC High School, I got a call from a friend that I met in Iraq. Kita Riley called to tell me that help was needed in Afghanistan and the first person that she and her husband thought of was me. "We loved the Dining Facilities you ran in Iraq and knew you would be perfect for Afghanistan if you are interested." She said. I talked to her husband RJ Riley a few weeks later for more details and within the month I received a personal phone call from the C.O.O. from Taylors Inc. "Are you ready to come to Afghanistan and turn things around Mr. Crawford?" I was asked by Mr. Murphy. I was in Kabul a week  later. 

In the late 80's me and my boy Shelby watched a tennis match on T.V. and afterwards we were hyped. We went out and decided that we would get tennis rackets and tennis balls so we could go to a local court to hit a bit and teach ourselves how to play the game. It looked easy enough to us on TV so we didn't need any damn lessons. Once we got out there we swung for the fences. I mean you would have thought we were playing baseball, home-runs a plenty and more. This had to be one of the funniest days ever. As we rounded up the balls from the neighborhood (I said home-runs, right?), I knew I would never try tennis again. We went to the grocery store and bought food for me to cook. Shelby stuck with it and is a Tennis Pro & Instructor, I on the other hand am a Chef. 

One of the facts that each example has in common is obviously that each facilitator is Black, the more important but equally relevant fact is that each situation required a certain amount of prior preparation for the door that was to be opened and/or a willingness to find a passion, work hard at it and master. It's one thing to make a great menu and impress someone based on that but I still had to go in and sell myself in order to work at MPAA. I was the one that would need to walk through the door that Charles opened up for me in order to work in Iraq but once there I would need to prove my own worth, not only to keep up his reputation but to prove my worth to the company that hired me. I was the one that would need to take my job seriously enough to warrant promotion time and time again. It was the foundation that I laid in Iraq that impressed Kita & RJ enough to think of and reach out to me that landed me in Afghanistan. The knowledge that myself and Shelby went out to play tennis together and were both so horrible in the beginning that I turned to cooking immediately, is overshadowed by the fact that he is now a tennis pro and I'm a professional chef. These are a testament to our will and intestinal fortitude. 

The point is, while people are offered help in various forms it is that person's responsibility to take it to the next level. The misconception that Blacks don't help one another is a gross misrepresentation of the truth. The issue that I have with some folks is the expectation that they are owed a hand up or hand out by someone of the same race simply because they are of that same race. That notion is ridiculous, if I give you the information that I have worked hard to attain then it should be your mission to use it wisely. No one has the time to hold your hand to make sure you are using it wisely, that's your job not mine. Once someone has blessed me with a hand, I feel as if I owe them my best foot forward out of respect for what they have done for me. I also feel the need to prove myself worthy of the chance taken and opportunity afforded. As a Black man, do I owe other Blacks the right to know all that I know? Perhaps I do but I'd say I owe that opportunity to anyone that wants to learn what I am teaching. If that person happens to be Black then kudos but if not my teaching must go on. People be they Black, White or otherwise need to understand that help is a two way street. If you are given something then payment is always required in some way or another. Payment isn't always money and it's not always directed back to the person that gave it to you in the first place. In some cases it may be paid forward, while in others it may be repaid through bettering yourself and making things easier for those around or affected by you. Whatever the case is I refuse to allow the lazy few to speak for an entire race of people. We don't owe each other because we are Black. We should want to help anyone that wants to make their lives, communities, jobs, country and world a better place for each and every one of us. Magic Johnson, Bob Johnson, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry are a few great examples of how Blacks actually help each other but I guess in order to see them as great examples it might depend on your perspective. I'd say to be able to see that they continue to be successful in their fields and happen to be Black is motivation and help enough for me to want the same for myself. We are not Crabs In A Barrel.....