The Power Of Love & Unity

As clearly as I can recall, it was a few minutes before midnight on a random late spring/early summer night. I was returning home from hanging out when I got the call. After noticing that it was my boy Kevin and looking at the time, I just decided to let it go to voicemail and I'd hit him back once I got home. I suppose I didn't want to be tempted to hang out any later than it already was. It had rained like cats and dogs earlier so the last thing I wanted to do was to stay out any later and risk getting caught in another torrential downpour. Next came a text message.

 Yo Mark hit me back immediately I need to talk to you now. 

As I pulled up to my house I read the message and my stomach turned. No idea what it was but due to the time of the call and tone of the message I could only assume that whatever it was, it had to be serious. You see Kevin doesn't just call out of the blue and he never leaves crazy text messages for me to read, that's something that is reserved for me and Shelby to do to each other. Making the call as I sat in the car, I braced myself for whatever in the hell this thing was.

I've known Kevin and Shelby since the 5th grade, so that sets our kinship up past the forty year mark by now. We all met playing Pop Warner Football in the mean streets of Fort Washington, Md. Me and Kevin were cool with each other immediately but me and Shelby, now that's another story. We became friends after a touchdown, excessive celebration, late hit and fight. Yep this was all one on play, not during a game, but during a scrimmage. Needless to say, our coaches broke up the fight and afterwards we became the best of friends. (He was scared of my left, ask Big Thawty it's vicious).

Ft Wash CannonBalls 

To say that the three of us are close is kind of misleading, but mostly an understatement. I can be one that separates from everything and everyone for no reason other than self preservation at any given time. But we all know this one thing about each other, if help is needed we will be on the way to sort shit out and move the fuck on. Shit, I once asked Shelby to help me move out of a condo and into a three story, four bedroom house. One week later, in 10 degree weather we drove a 40 foot moving truck down the narrow streets of Capitol Hill, just the two of us. It took all day with us clowning around moving out of one spot and moving in to the next with our work gloves (inside joke), but we got it done. The point is, when needed we always answer each other's calls. After all these are the two brothers that I have known through thick and thin, in good and bad times. We may not speak at all for months at a time but when we finally connect, it's like we never missed a day.

Yo Mark man, I'm not sure of the exact details or how in the hell to tell you this over the phone? Kevin said, as if he was fighting back a well of tears.

What the fuck is going on K Swann? Shit man, just tell me what it is I'm on my way to wherever you need me to be right now. I barked back, wondering what was next and who exactly was in peril.

It's our boy Jones, they found him in his car and he wasn't breathing. They were able to resuscitate him and there's a slight pulse now, but they are unsure if he will be able to make it through the night. 

Wait, what? Shelby's not what? Where in the hell is he now? What are you telling me Kevin, Shelby's dead? 

I'm saying get your ass over to INOVA Fairfax now, I'm just getting here and it doesn't look good. You got to get here now bruh. You need to get here right now, Mark. 

I'm driving there now. I'll hit you when I'm in the lobby. Fuck! 

Monique & Me 

It's crazy to think now but at the time I didn't cry, I simply drove through the rain as I called another one of our life long friends Monique to let her know what was going on. I knew she wouldn't want to be told later so I felt that the best I could do is call her immediately.

Monique, It's me. I need you to get over to INOVA Fairfax, Shelby's in trouble and it doesn't look good at all. 

Doesn't look good, what are you saying? Monique said quizzically.

I'm not sure of how the rest of that conversation ended, I was numb at the time. All I know is that by the time I got to the hospital she was there right behind me.

As we walked in and up to the triage desk the duty nurse smiled and said. Let me guess, you're here to see Shelby Jones right? 

Yes ma'am. We said simultaneously. 

Well damn, for someone that just got here he has a lot of good friends that were readily available on a random Saturday night? He's a blessed young man. He's in room...

We made it upstairs without having said one word to each other. In my head, I was bracing myself for the worse and trying hard to seem like I was calm and optimistic. Monique seemed poised and ready for whatever was ahead of us. Making our way to the room there was Carlene, Shelby's mother. Was I prepared to be strong for her? I hadn't thought it through, I always think shit through. I never want to do something off the cuff to cost someone their sanity or change the energy in a room. I remember telling myself to get it together before I was up in her face.

Shelby & Carlene (Mom Dukes)

Now Mark when you go in there don't be alarmed, he doesn't look like himself at all but we are knowing that we will pull him through this. Get that in your head before you go into that room ok? Carlene was the picture of stability and confidence as she straightened up my collars and pushed me towards his room. I don't want any tears in there understand? She continued through a slight smile.

I walked in and saw something out of a movie, this was not Shelby Jones, this thing with tubes running through every orifice available and beeping sounds all around him. This was not the dude I had just talked to early the same morning as he was going to run errands. This was not the dude that promised me he'd piss on my grave at my funeral once he pushed me off a cliff as we both reached 90 years of age. This was not my boy. I didn't cry, I don't think I could have at the time.

I stayed in the room for about thirty minutes or so praying with him and touching his hand so that he could at least feel my presence. There are not many people that know this about me, but I'll tell it here and now, I am terrified at the thought of being alone. All I could think to myself at the time is that Shelby was trapped inside himself, unable to make his way back out and all alone. It mortified me. I just wanted him to hear my voice to let him know that if he was still in there fighting to get back to the surface then I would do my part to let him know that I was there waiting...

K Swann & Shelby 

I left the room and saw Kevin, not a tear in his eyes, only determination on his face. Yo man I know it looks crazy, but our boy is going to walk out of here on his own. I don't know when or how long but I know we are going to get him out of this place man. Kevin said with a straight face.

Yeah, I'm feeling that way too K Swann. I retorted.

As I looked around I finally took notice of what the duty nursed meant, there were more than fifteen people in this small waiting area. All had gathered in less than an hour to be sure to get him back. Scanning the room I finally saw his girlfriend Sarah. She was in the corner crying her eyes out and trying to stay as composed as possible, no small task under the circumstances. We hugged and assured each other that Shelby would pull through. For a good portion of that night Shelby's friends, relatives, sisters and girlfriend sat around building each other up for the road ahead, no matter how long that road might be. It was uplifting.

Day after day and night after night for what seemed to be an eternity we came to reclaim our brother, friend, colleague, son, boyfriend. Whatever your connection to him, you were there to get him through and get him back. Each person tried something personal to them. When we were roommates in our mid twenties he'd play the song Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi every morning as his wake up song. "I'm a Cowboy, on a steel horse I ride." To this day I hate those fucking lyrics and I hate that fucking song, but I'll tell you now I played it for him on day two and three and I thought I saw a reaction or two. On day three or four I remember calling a friend we had in common and placing the phone by his ear as she played one of his favorite songs and I kid you not this brother moved both of his corpse-like arms, raised them over his head and started moving them as if he was doing a two step. I swear on it. I cried laughing as I took the phone back and relayed the story over the phone. There was also a time when another mutual friend of our named Aaron came in with a harsher tone and approach than anyone had before and got results that no one had up until that point.

Look here now Shelby, you gonna need to show us a sign that you are in there man. You look crazy right now. Got your mama all nervous and stuff this is ridiculous. Aaron started off, sounding like a Southern Baptist Preacher. We gonna need you to blink, twitch or something so that we are not here wasting our time man. You got ya mama crying out here man. Suddenly there was a slight twitch.

I said get the hell up man and stop this foolishness now man... Another twitch, this time in his face.


I was ready to kick his harsh ass out of the room when I suddenly saw Shelby's mouth move and then saw him raise his left arm up slightly and then try to move his neck. Y'all don't understand. By now I'd been there for like five days or more and tried everything with little to no response at all and then in comes Reverend Ike with the "Eat the Cake Anna May" routine and this is the shit that's getting results. I was floored, but fuck the personal shit, this was making Shelby respond for some reason. I quickly ran out of the room (only two visitors at a time allowed in) and decided to forfeit my spot to his mother so that she could see what I had just seen Aaron be able to do.

I'm sure that his brother, mother, Sarah, Aunts, sisters, Keyona, Kevin, Monique, Lew, Rod, Flav, Hunter, Fager, Kathy Grant, Aubrey Turner and so many others have similar stories to add as well. I've only shared part of what I will always see as a miracle. I believe in things that are tangible to me. I have faith in things unseen but I am moved by action. Not fantasy nor theory, but actual sweat, blood and tears - action related tangible things. The miracle that I witnessed throughout this entire event isn't as mystical as is seems, at least not to me. There was an unstoppable force created by the togetherness of a group of people that shared a common purpose. We were not going to be denied. It takes a slew of dynamics to make for a perfect group but I'd argue that while you will need role players the most important parts of a group are the pillars or anchors. The two or more folks that hold the group together and from which everyone else draws their own strength from. Carlene, and Sarah shared this distinction for me.

Carlene you are the pillar of strength. You set the tone. You made the rules and held us accountable by looking each of us in the eye before we came in to load us up on courage and then once again to unburden our souls out on you as we came out of the room each and every time. You did so without flinching and without so much as an ounce of noticeable fear. You were then and remain so now, my hero of heroes.

Sarah you are the pillar of presence and familiarity. There's nothing more assuring than someone that you know is going to always be there. It's often said in sports that the best ability to have is availability. I'd say that's the case in every walk of life especially those of the critical nature. There was not one time that I came by that you weren't there allowing your presence to be felt and allowing us all to radiate back to Shelby the love that you showed us by allowing us to do our part to help. In cases like this there can be deluded heroes (those that make a thing about themselves rather than the recovery of the infirmed). You stayed by his side the entire time and made time for each of us to assure us that we were all in this together and that we would be so as a team.

Shelby's sisters, Aunts, Brother and Keyona; you guys are the definition of ride or die. Each of you made each one of us feel at home and even made it comfortable to laugh and have a good time. I swear to each one reading this, the hospital loved the energy that we brought day in and day out. They said as much daily. Even folks that were coming in to visit other patients commented on how reassuring and positive the energy in the room was and how much it helped to ease their fears for their own loved ones.  

Togetherness is one hell of a cure all. When folks are single-minded in purpose there is no goal too great to tackle. When there is a common cause and that cause is positive and righteous, there is no force too big to defeat. There was a power in that room that was greater than any one of us, but not yet as big as the sum of our parts. That power that bought us through was unity...

Being unified helped to clear out all of the noise. Whenever I walked into the room and saw a lifeless body I was weak, when I came out of the room and saw Carlene and Sarah I was made strong by borrowing heroism from them. This happened over and over again, so much so that I was able to be a pillar for others as they came out of the room ghost-faced and ready to say their Hail Mary's. We'd radiate them with our light of love, hope and healing through a hug, a quick word or maybe even a glance. Whenever one was down we all came in to bring them back up and vice versa. There is no denying the power of unity and togetherness. It's a wonderful thing...

I'll let Shelby tell you about his recovery, that part of this story is his to share if he so chooses. As for this part of the story, it's simply my perspective and as such I just want to thank everyone for our togetherness. There is no small part in a miracle everyone is a major player. Carlene and Sarah, I love you both for giving me the strength to show up and keep on keeping on. To the doctors and nurses, thank you for your determination and professionalism, without it you may not have gone above and beyond to assure such a happy ending. To Shelby Jones, thank you for having the courage to stick around and fight to get back, I'm not sure that I could have done so. Finally, to anyone that visited, called, thought, prayed, cried or whatever, thank you for your part, it was crucial to the outcome... 

Avery

Avery, Shelby & Sarah

Spoiler Alert: The two pictures directly above were taken post-event.